It weighs me down how some people can speak and sound beautiful by dint of voice or expression or change of tone or suddenly cleared throat. It's unfair to the people who open their mouths to speak and have the world snigger. I hate smooth voices the way I hate people who don't admit to having phlegm or gas, in the you-wait-someday-you'll-get-mumps kind of way. Give me a world where speech bubbles come out of mouths with running videos showing action sans sound, and I'll be happy as a fruitcake.

This isn't an admission I'm making because there's no silence around me. Admittedly everything's been too loud of late, but I can keep silent if I want to so I'd be wise to quit the whining, yes. But what is annoying is people who should be silent and aren't. I'm looking for a reference here but I can't find it, how remiss, how remiss, I'll go listen to the kitchen now like I've been listening to the sitting room and the parking lot and the university and the pavements. Such strange conversations, if I strung them up and pretended it was postmodern or something I'd win a bleeding Booker. If earmuffs didn't look so ridiculous I swear you'd see me with a fluffy pair all the time, even if they were pink and sweaty. In fact, blast it, I think earmuffs are a pretty good idea.