I am writing this because I am clever and diabolical and no one will ever know. I am Sauron. I am an unknown evil genius mobster's bald pate sticking out from behind a chair. I am a devil. I am a dimer debhil. I will now sit at a trestle table and wear fancy headgear with blonde braids and look all beery fierce and applecheeked and clink tankards around. Nothing matters, I am now so beyond cool it's scary. And no one shall ever know. So there. Muahahahaha.
This is most definitely a Cryptic Post. Not to mention a First Of Its Kind. Go figure.